So, I'm writing a story/novella based on the album No Line On The Horizon. Each chapter is another song on the album. I would like to share my Moment of Surrender chapter here, if that's okay. I hope you enjoy (and that it's close to what you think the song's about!)
There are some Thriving Ivory lyrics hidden in there towards the end, if that confuses anyone.
The sun woke on a brand new day of clarity and pain. Sable fumbled for her injector, but found nothing of the sort. She lay burning on the bed, needing something that she wasn’t quite sure of.
Oh no, of course she was sure of it. It was the drugs. She needed them. But the supply, which had at first seemed endless, had run out. How did these things happen?
Crackling with pain dripping from every pour, Sable forced herself off the bed and dressed to go out. She had no money anymore. Where was that ID… Fishing around in the mess of the room, Sable finally found the plastic card needed to gain more money and with it, more drugs.
Her shaky, bony legs carried her to the door. She stole a glance at Thomas, still asleep. How beautiful and innocent he looked. From that one glimpse, no one would be able to tell of the mischief he and Sable had been up to.
Sable exited the building, walking past the mailbox filled with bills, past the deathly silent downstairs hall. On to outside, where she nearly threw a hand over her eyes in effort to stop the blinding sun from piercing her retinas. There was a moment of panic where Sable had to fling her purse to the ground and heave every one of the contents onto the sidewalk, making sure she had everything necessary. She did.
I tied myself with wire to let the horses run free.
The drug addiction had begun when she was younger, and she had used it in the same way she was using it now- to heighten the sensations of love. To this day Sables did not know what had happened to him. She only know what had happened to her.
I was playing with fire till the fire played with me…
It had wasted her, left her horribly disfigured in soul. What a romance. The poison was married to her now, though Sable didn’t want it anymore. And she had infected her new boyfriend with it too. She was a walking disaster.
The stone was semi-precious, she remembered, thinking of Thomas’s charms that had captured her. But they were now both barely conscious of the world outside their bedroom. Neither of them had realized their voracious appetite, their reliance on the drugs and sex that fueled them. They were too smart for that, or at least that’s what Sable had always told herself. It was in this twisted lie that she dwelled, telling herself she was outside the realm of certainty.
Even on our wedding day, we set ourselves on fire. They hadn’t been able to resist! At least it hadn’t been a real wedding…
As Sable dragged herself down the subway steps, Thomas came to mind. She knew exactly what he would say if he was lucid. He would ask to spare Sable from harm. He loved her so much…
Oh God, do not deny her!
But now it wasn’t that Sable believed in love. She didn’t need that. Now, love needed to believe in her. She needed to know there was a purpose in this life. She entered the subway train and stood stock-still, practically shaking with the pain. It was close to unbearable. What kind of loving God would have let her fall so low? Believe in me, her silent mind screamed.
Downtown, the city was already awake. Sable slipped out of subway, littered with trash, and strode down an alleyway where the ATM was located. A moan escaped her lips. Since the inception of this bad habit she’d been in every black hole there was, crouching at the altar of the dark star waiting for punishment. If only the punishment would come. Anything would be preferable to this. Sable’s body was a begging bowl, demanding that she get back to her heart, to the rhythm of her soul. The drugs made these things erratic. Sable sometimes could not feel her own pulse. She longed to get back to the rhythm of her unconsciousness, to sleep naturally for the first time in months. Her body’s natural time signatures yearned to be released from the drum of the drugs’ control.
Sable hauled herself in front of the ATM and punched in her PIN. The screen lit up in recognition, and Sable saw a gaunt face in its reflection, staring back at her. Deep purple circles underlined its eyes. There was no trace of a smile. Who was that woman? Was it even a woman? Sable didn’t know. She retrieved some money and ran, ignoring the flame that was eating her up, down the sidewalk again, back into sunlight.
Still conscious of danger, Sable stuffed the money in her pocket. She traveled down the subway steps again, comforting herself with thoughts of her dealer. She would find him soon and everything would be alright.
The subway train was strangely quiet on the way back, despite its crowds of people. Sable swayed on her feet, feeling seasick. Dry tears slid down her face. She needed to break this cycle- she needed to live again. This addiction was a weak semblance of life.
The doors closed, and the subway was speeding off to the stations all across. Sable groaned, doubling over. The pain was so bad that she fell to the ground, curling into a ball. Every eye of every face looked every other way, pretending not to notice the druggie on the floor as Sable counted down to when the pain would stop. Just find her dealer and she’d be fine… But that wasn’t what she wanted. The drugs might be what her body needed by this point, but Sable did not want them any longer.
As clear as day, the vision broke through the clouds of her mind, obscuring Sable’s eyesight. The visibility of the passersby in the train turned into a vision of the future. Sable saw that she could survive this, that she wanted to survive. She and Thomas didn’t have to set themselves on fire anymore. They would not turn their backs on a blue sky, play their parts until there were no tears to dry. They would live. They would.
At once Sable shifted position, folding to her knees. No one around her noticed her, and she did not notice them. Sable knew she was at the moment of surrender, the point where she had to admit there was a problem. She wasn’t so smart anymore.
Thomas needed to know this…
