Author Topic: Clean Joke Thread  (Read 7695 times)

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Offline A_Fly_On_The_Wall

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #45 on: August 08, 2012, 08:31:18 AM »
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A. She missed.

Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cupboard?
A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q. Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A. She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You can park in the handicap zone.

Q. How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A. Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write "please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

Offline Shesgonnadreamoutloud

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #46 on: August 08, 2012, 09:57:44 AM »
Anti Jokes are really big here  :D

Offline A_Fly_On_The_Wall

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #47 on: August 08, 2012, 09:59:05 AM »
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Anti Jokes are really big here  :D

As below...

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What do you expect when the thread title is clean joke thread??  ::)

Offline Shesgonnadreamoutloud

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #48 on: August 08, 2012, 10:01:04 AM »
What's brown and sticky?

A stick  ;D ;D


Offline A_Fly_On_The_Wall

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #49 on: August 08, 2012, 10:06:17 AM »
What takes time to read and leaves you feeling disappointed?

Dream's last post  :D

Offline Shesgonnadreamoutloud

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #50 on: August 08, 2012, 10:08:23 AM »
(ouch) haha they're anti-jokes  ::)

What's green and has wheels?

Grass, I lied about the wheels  ;D

Okay real joke time  ;D


Offline A_Fly_On_The_Wall

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #51 on: August 08, 2012, 10:13:23 AM »
You're taking a while to think of them aren't ya?  ;D

Offline Snowmoon

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #52 on: August 08, 2012, 02:36:13 PM »
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Q. What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A. She missed.

Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cupboard?
A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q. Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A. She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You can park in the handicap zone.

Q. How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A. Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write "please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.
I don't know HOW, but you have to be my son.  I must have had twins and gave you up.? ;)

Offline Inishfree

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #53 on: August 10, 2012, 07:14:42 AM »
Here is one my son told me

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.

Offline A_Fly_On_The_Wall

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #54 on: August 10, 2012, 11:18:52 AM »
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Q. What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A. She missed.

Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cupboard?
A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q. Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A. She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You can park in the handicap zone.

Q. How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A. Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write "please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

I don't know HOW, but you have to be my son.  I must have had twins and gave you up.? ;)

Don't say that too loud, there's already too many people on my Wall  ;)

Offline theocean

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #55 on: August 12, 2012, 12:10:06 PM »
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.  :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

How do you spot a modern spider?
He doesn't have a web he had a website! :D
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oh and here's a 'Ken' joke......couldnt resist! :D :D

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken you open the door, please? :D

Offline 73October

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #56 on: September 30, 2017, 11:07:39 AM »
Just found this thread.  This is my 4yo niece's favourite joke:

Q. What's a sheep's favourite kind of chocolate?

A. A chocolate baaaa

Here's one of mine (very Christmas cracker-ish)

Q. What do you do with a spaceman?

A. Park in it, man

Offline 73October

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #57 on: September 30, 2017, 11:17:06 AM »
I went to the sunbed Olympics and got bronze.......

Offline poppyann

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #58 on: September 30, 2017, 01:44:59 PM »
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Offline 73October

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Re: Clean Joke Thread
« Reply #59 on: September 30, 2017, 05:21:29 PM »
I've just come back from a holiday of a lifetime.  Never again!