and it's taken me a week, but it's finally sinking in. And to be honest it kinda sucks.

Yeah an understatement, but this is my first breakup ever. it sucks because we actually managed to keep it going for 2 years before it fell apart.

I'm going through all the stuff everyone said I would go through: the realization that she won't be there by your side anymore, the loneliness when you're stressed out from work and you have no one to turn to, and most of all, the biting worry all the time about how she's doing.

What makes this so hard is the fact that it was a mutual agreement, and we agreed to stay away from each other. Yet at the same time I find myself worrying all the time about how she's doing, and whether she's gonna make it. She's a strong girl, I know, but she also has the tendency to blame herself for everything that goes wrong. Yet at the same time I don't want her to blame me and remember me as someone she hates...does that make any sense?

It sucks when I hear from my friends about how well she's doing, because I know her better than them and I know that she's putting on a strong front. The hardest part is not being able to comfort her because that would just complicate matters further.

It's like when you still care for someone, but you know the relationship is doomed to failure, and so you have to lie to her and to yourself so as to be able to put distance between the two of you, while at the same time admitting to a tiny part of yourself that you're dying from worry. Does that make any sense? I've been listening to "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses" non-stop, it's just so fitting.

Sorry for ranting guys. Apologies if i wasted your time with a mopey post.

You are not wasting our time with your post Yukona. That is why we have the REAL WORLD section of our forum. Sadly, the end of a relationship is very much a part of the real world out there. Just know that you are not alone. We have all gone through it. You will go through the stages of grief similar to when someone you love passes away. Although it is not quite as bad as that, it is a loss for you. You need to go through these stages. It does help in the healing process. It sounds like you thought this through. If the relationship was headed in a bad direction, you made the brave decision to end it now. That does not mean you will ever stop loving her. You are allowed to keep a special place for her in your heart and no one can take that away.

I think it is important for you to feel the sadness because that is what helps you to let it out, move on and become strong again. Some singer once said..........."this moment shall pass!"      Someday you are going to meet  "THE ONE" and it will be at the right time when it is supposed to happen.

Take care and hang in there!!!

You are not wasting our time with your post Yukona. That is why we have the REAL WORLD section of our forum. Sadly, the end of a relationship is very much a part of the real world out there. Just know that you are not alone. We have all gone through it. You will go through the stages of grief similar to when someone you love passes away. Although it is not quite as bad as that, it is a loss for you. You need to go through these stages. It does help in the healing process. It sounds like you thought this through. If the relationship was headed in a bad direction, you made the brave decision to end it now. That does not mean you will ever stop loving her. You are allowed to keep a special place for her in your heart and no one can take that away.

I think it is important for you to feel the sadness because that is what helps you to let it out, move on and become strong again. Some singer once said..........."this moment shall pass!"      Someday you are going to meet  "THE ONE" and it will be at the right time when it is supposed to happen.

Take care and hang in there!!!

Thanks a lot StrongGirl. That helped.

A funny thing. I started work on a song called "The Hardest Part Is The Night" recently, and a few days ago she texted me something along the lines of, "I want you to know I'm trying, but the night is the hardest part."

Songwriting moments like this give you the chills.

You are not wasting our time with your post Yukona. That is why we have the REAL WORLD section of our forum. Sadly, the end of a relationship is very much a part of the real world out there. Just know that you are not alone. We have all gone through it. You will go through the stages of grief similar to when someone you love passes away. Although it is not quite as bad as that, it is a loss for you. You need to go through these stages. It does help in the healing process. It sounds like you thought this through. If the relationship was headed in a bad direction, you made the brave decision to end it now. That does not mean you will ever stop loving her. You are allowed to keep a special place for her in your heart and no one can take that away.

I think it is important for you to feel the sadness because that is what helps you to let it out, move on and become strong again. Some singer once said..........."this moment shall pass!"      Someday you are going to meet  "THE ONE" and it will be at the right time when it is supposed to happen.

Take care and hang in there!!!

Thanks a lot StrongGirl. That helped.

A funny thing. I started work on a song called "The Hardest Part Is The Night" recently, and a few days ago she texted me something along the lines of, "I want you to know I'm trying, but the night is the hardest part."

Songwriting moments like this give you the chills.

It sure does!  All of your life experiences will be what makes you a better artist.  You should use the song writing as an outlet. It can help you get your feelings out and it will certainly touch others who have or are going through it. Now get that pen and paper out and start!

I'm sorry to hear that, Yukona.  It's  a hard thing to do, even when you're the one doing the breaking up.  I've been there.  i broke up with a long-term boyfriend in college.  i knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere good, but i still felt guilt, and i worried about him.  it was a hard thing to do to stay away.  Give yourself time to grieve for your relationship.  Surround yourself with friends who will keep you busy.  It takes some courage to do what you did.  Too often, people stay in relationships that aren't right for them.  THey give up what could be for what is comfortable.  Don't be that person.  Come chat with the old ladies at the OLC.  They'll cheer you up!

There are always people here to cheer you up. I hope you feel better about everything quickly.

it will be alright yukona...

ive had two breakups in my life...

one was after a week, i figured out that she was cheating on me and i was being used for jealousy..that made me so upset

my second one was with a girl ive gone through everything you can go through.  We went out for about 1, 1 and half years.  She was their by my side when i had to get surgery.  i was there when she almost died after being stabbed by accident... i mean we went through a lot together!  Then on August 10th, she had to move to Maine for her dad's work, i never really found out what it was.  I still miss her very much, but i know i can move on.  Its gonna be alright

it will be alright yukona...

ive had two breakups in my life...

one was after a week, i figured out that she was cheating on me and i was being used for jealousy..that made me so upset

my second one was with a girl ive gone through everything you can go through.  We went out for about 1, 1 and half years.  She was their by my side when i had to get surgery.  i was there when she almost died after being stabbed by accident... i mean we went through a lot together!  Then on August 10th, she had to move to Maine for her dad's work, i never really found out what it was.  I still miss her very much, but i know i can move on.  Its gonna be alright

I'm sorry to hear that shock...that's a lot to go through and to have to part with. But you're right, time heals eh.

Thanks for all the support guys. You guys are awesome.

I just got a call from the ex a few minutes ago...surprisingly, we managed to get through the call without it being awkward, and managed to acknowledge the fact that we're broken up without being over dramatic. I think its getting better...

Glad to hear it, Yukona.  *smiles encouragingly*   

Well, initially I wanted to post "poser" but the text message line is really good, and yeah most of us have gone through that...

Don't eff up the song though by being too sentimental. Chin up, you'll manage and grow stronger.

I feel you, yukona. My boyfriend and I had to break up at the end of the summer because we were going to colleges on opposite sides of the country. And yeah, the few nights after he left were terrible. But since I moved into college and got really busy, I've been perfectly fine. A few days ago I found out he has a new girlfriend, and I surprised myself by actually being totally fine with that. I miss how close we were...but life goes on.

Love doesn't exist man, get it over with. 

Love doesn't exist man, get it over with. 

Yes it does dfit00   

Not only does love exist, it persists and endures.