My depression started probably after my girlfriend had to move away. People said to me that falling in love at 13 and a half just doesn't happen, that it's not true love, just a "teen" sort of love that isn't true like when you're older. But most don't know how involved both her and I were with one another. Her name was Carmen, she was an exchange student from Spain when she came over to the States. And then I met her, and we fell in love with one another, even despite the fact that she couldn't speak English too well. Okay, so it started as a just simple "Oh she's my girlfriend, aren't you jealous" Thing, but in a month, it changed to "I love every single aspect about her" sort of thing. I was as happy as I'd ever been, even though I was only around 14 years old. And we even were beginning to talk about college and out futures. But I forgot she had to move back, the thought just dissipated from my mind at the time. And when she told me about it... I cried, inside and out. Her parents were very strict also upon friends and stuff, and forbid her talking to me anymore, ending pretty much the relationship we had enjoyed for nearly an entire year.
That started the downfall for me, as I fell down into a deep depression for a few months, but hid it from my family because I didn't want them worrying about me too much, they didn't deserve to think it was their fault. Since then It's been on an off, because deep within me I always thought she was it.
Then I tried asking out girls again, having a new outlook on having a girlfriend now. I thought it was show before, but now I promised myself that I'd try to be everything that a girl could ask for. Cause I started believed that she was taken away from me because of something I did.
Now though, I've learned that she's probably happy with another person somewhere, and that she'd wish for me to be the same.
So I've moved on, and though I still do get depressed on certain days, I've learned to cope with it and continue positively for the people who do care about me.
This forum has helped more than I ever had imagined. So many friendly kind people on this forum to talk to, everybody her like one big happy family that I was let into and embraced. I can't thank everybody enough for it.
The forum, as well as music, have turned into outlets for which I can let all my stress and depression drift away for a little while, and now somebody here is helping to heal my broken heart
I hope everybody here can find a light out of that tunnel of depression in the new year to come.
Oh and I apologize for the length
