Depressed people club

[Inishfree]

I still remember all the times that I've been called selfish, ungrateful, and lazy by close friends and family.

horsefly, I have had  similar experience. This is little consolation but unless you have experienced depression you really can't understand it. See if there is a support group at your school so that you can share your experiences with others going through a similar situation. Ask your therapist to recommend one or if there isn't one at school consider looking for online support. And of course you always have us. 

Some people can be so insensitive to others who are suffering.  Really, would we say these things to a blind person or to a child who has Cerebal Palsy?  Depression is a real illness and those who have it need our compassion, not ridicule.

This reminds me of those stupid weight loss commercials, which have thankfully be taken off the airwaves.  Lose weight and you won't develope type 2 diabetes.  Guess what, I have never been medically obese and have always been very athletic.  Years of ballet, modern dance, swimming, hiking, retired martial artist with a second dergree black belt.  I still developed type 2.  Highest risk factors for women.  Diabetes during pregnancy and maternal family history.  I have both.

[Thehorsefly [whinny!]]

It's been over 2 months, and the first antidepressant (prozac) hasn't done anything for me, so I'm in the process of tapering off and switching over to paxil.

[satellitedog01]

I'm over it, I'm back to life, surprisingly. I spent three years in self imposed isolation, not going out at all, stopped meeting friends, spent almost every day in a small room with the computer, only held online contact with most people aside from family and girlfriend.

Then this autumn, I got over the hatred I felt towards myself and people, and started acting normal and taking small steps towards normalcy.
First I started working out again (I'm very self conscious about my looks, and having been way overweight for the last two years added hugely to my depression), to my surprise I followed that up by enrolling in a Maya 3D graphic design and animation course at an authorized professional school (it's an intensive course, about 5 months, starting February), and decided to move to Berlin after the course, and to hopefully get a driver's license before that too. The course is expensive, and I have limited resources, and I didn't want my parents to pay for the whole thing, while I still have to fund my move and driving lessons... In the end I needed a job.

I've been getting gradually better over the past couple of months, from August or so on, and now it might change even more significantly:
Two weekends ago I found a graphic designer job offer by an advertising agency specialized in packaging, and in-store/event displays, and are producing quality work (that was the reason I jumped on it, despite not having an experience in the field, plus it's a three month stint as a stand in guy, so no long term commitment, plus it would end before the course, so no double duty stress).

I put together my new portfolio over a couple of days, and the morning after I submitted it, I got called in for a job interview, and got a test task, which I've finished and submitted. Their graphic designers selected 11 people of the roughly 60 applicants for interviews, and even if I don't get the job, I'm finally unafraid to apply for one, and that's a good enough start. Actually I might just apply for another right away, if this doesn't work out.

So while I'd love to spend the next three months recording music and working on exhibition projects (I feel ready for that finally), I might have to hold down a job instead. :-)

It certainly feels better than the last three years have. So I guess the moral is: by taking small steps, a lot of change can be achieved. Also if you have some clever and positive friends, talk to them as much as you can.

[Tumbling Dice]

"So I guess the moral is: by taking small steps, a lot of change can be achieved."

I'll remember that.

Having a sense of direction is a big help too.

[Farisfan (take this shirt)]

"So I guess the moral is: by taking small steps, a lot of change can be achieved."

I'll remember that.

Having a sense of direction is a big help too.

But in the midst of things (when it seems it is a mountain), this is hard to remember, no?

And I think you're right, TD, a sense of direction makes a big difference.

*hugs* to all who pass through here, those who know the change to make and those who are still seeking for the knowledge or courage....

[theocean]

It's been over 2 months, and the first antidepressant (prozac) hasn't done anything for me, so I'm in the process of tapering off and switching over to paxil.

I wondering if there is a natural way to get the same effect....or in foods....have you ever researched???

[Belisama]

"So I guess the moral is: by taking small steps, a lot of change can be achieved."

I'll remember that.

Having a sense of direction is a big help too.

But in the midst of things (when it seems it is a mountain), this is hard to remember, no?

And I think you're right, TD, a sense of direction makes a big difference.

*hugs* to all who pass through here, those who know the change to make and those who are still seeking for the knowledge or courage....

I completely agree about some direction helping in the healing and management of depression. There is an amazing book called Man's Search For Meaning by Victor Frankel. It is the account of his internment at a concentration camp where he witnessed how his fellow prisoners found the will to survive under such horrible conditions. He noticed that those who adapted best found a singular cause or reason that gave them the will to go on. For some it was family, for others it was art, etc. For him it was his work as a psychiatrist. After he was freed by the allies he channeled this will into a theory called logotherapy. Logotherapy is "founded upon the belief that it is the striving to find a meaning in one's life that is the primary, most powerful motivating and driving force in humans." Logotherapy has been highly effective in treating depression.

The notion of Logotherapy was created with the Greek word logos ("meaning"). Frankl’s concept is based on the premise that the primary motivational force of an individual is to find a meaning in life. The following list of tenets represents basic principles of logotherapy:

Life has meaning under all circumstances, even the most miserable ones.
Our main motivation for living is our will to find meaning in life.
We have freedom to find meaning in what we do, and what we experience, or at least in the stand we take when faced with a situation of unchangeable suffering

If you strive to find meaning in every day it gives the hope and drive needed to go on. I really recommend this book to anyone, but especially to those suffering from depression. It is a very small book with a powerful message.

[theocean]

Life has meaning under all circumstances, even the most miserable ones.
Our main motivation for living is our will to find meaning in life.
We have freedom to find meaning in what we do, and what we experience, or at least in the stand we take when faced with a situation of unchangeable suffering

Bels, they are some strong, positive words....

[Belisama]

Life has meaning under all circumstances, even the most miserable ones.
Our main motivation for living is our will to find meaning in life.
We have freedom to find meaning in what we do, and what we experience, or at least in the stand we take when faced with a situation of unchangeable suffering

Bels, they are some strong, positive words....

Thank you ocean, they are Frankl's not mine. I really hope to do my dissertation on logotherapy since it has helped me so much.

[Borack]

Many thanks to Trlica for creating this thread AND many thanks to the many contributors for sharing valuable and personal insights about the grey clouds and dark intervals they endure, and how they move forward. The recent remarks about Frankl and logotherapy are also bang on.

For me, sometimes I think about a certain prayer, and then seek to tweak it a bit to make it more relevant. For instance;

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

While I'm not overly spiritual, it is about empowerment, wisdom, respect and love. However, what I'd note is that we can try to initiate these reactions or responses not only to things we find in our external environment or worldly interactions, BUT ALSO in the feelings or frustrations or senses of fear and futility we often find in (or within) ourselves.  So I say "take heart" and realize that you have the resources to change things about yourself .... make a plan or devise a method to adjust these things, and then change a few at a time, even if its only you that's aware of the earnest effort ... and practise some kind of loving, benevolent, practical forgiveness of yourself.  I think its this last point that's rather critical. Try to respect, love and forgive yourself because noone is perfect nor ever will be.

As others have noted, even some of the greatest icons cope (as best they can) with depression, and while it may not enable them per se, yet it ennobles them and perhaps empowers them too. Having just seen his show, I'll post a clip whose chorus contains something upbeat, and reminds me of SatelliteDog's progressive triumphs.  I could continue with other maxims and ideas, but just resolve to love and forgive yourself because of your imperfections.  Arm yourself with love. Mirror yourself with hope. Forgive yourself with grace. Throw the containers of/for doubt into an external compactor not an internal recycle bin. Repeat courageously.  Spend a moment updating your private or personal or internal page of blessings and then, seek to add to the list.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qZbyLsiHzY

[Smee]

I myself am on the cusp of potentially a life changing event. For last 7 yrs...i have been living in my house. Dont get me wrong, i love my house...its a great house in a great area, BUT..........................i am cut of from everything up here. The result being...i am practically a hermit here. I seldom cross my front door. Sometimes once a month if that.
So.....this house move has been kind of forced on me, by UK govt reforms. BUT......it could work in my favour. I have a three way house swap lined up. If this goes ahead.....despite the stress in the meantime, it could re start my social life. The flat im thinking about taking, is literally minute walk from city centre and loads of ameinities and stuff. Its also close to freinds and family, who i could get out and visit in the evening (couldnt do that here, as i have no transport)
Even wee things...like trips to cinemas for a movie, a trip to Macdonalds for a munch.....wee things like that will be 10 min walk for me. Im pretty excited to be honest. Im hoping it will give me my zest for life back. Also....it happens to be in a street i lived in before and i was very very happy there. So thats why i deliberatly set out to find somewhere there. Im just dreading the actual move. But i have three freinds lined up to help, and i dont have much to move, so it will hopefully turn out to be a peice of cake.

All this could be happeing in January.....so.....im REALLY looking forward to 2013 now, but just a lil anxious about having to go thro the upheaval of a move.
The way i see it....i will ALWAYS have my demons. But if i can get a little pleasure into the mix also....it will work out just dandy

[Tumbling Dice]

So they moved you after all?  My uncle hasn't been told he's got to move by the council - and he lives alone, but I can see it coming since he lives in a two bedroom house and council houses are in short supply where he lives.  He had the opportunity to buy it under 'right to buy', but he said: why buy it when when I've got it for life at a low rent.  But it just goes to show, if you don't own the house and you're a tenant then the council can move you out if they want to.

Anyways, Smee, you're right to look for the positives in things you can't control rather than the negatives.

[ABloodRedSky]

Haven't been in this thread before, but I'm looking for help and hope this is the right place to come.

I'm really worried about my older sister. She's 24 and has had a past history of being bullied, never really fitting in, etc. She was going to university but dropped out a year and a half or so ago and hasn't gone back. She said that having to give presentations got too difficult and she's completely dropped off the radar.

She doesn't have any friends, stays in her room 90% of the time (goes out once every two weeks or so), usually on her laptop. She doesn't work, doesn't drive, doesn't study obviously, and well...I don't know. She's had nervous/anxiety issues for a while. She's been to two different therapists and has taken some antidepressants for quite some time but doesn't seem to be getting any better. She's regressed really - become more socially awkward, distant even with us, her family, and doesn't show any signs of wanting to change. My family and I are at a loss and we don't know what to do.

Any help, suggestions, recommendations would really, really help. Thanks.

[satellitedog01]

Force her to regular activity in some form that takes her out of her little comfy bubble of self pity.
Give her life a steady rhythm, don't give her the time to build up a detached, hopeless alternate reality, make her face reality in small steps. 

Then increase the difficulty level gradually. I think making her run errands and do housework chores for the family, (on the basis that she doesn't earn money to help out with costs) might be a good start. Let her know she's not alone, but that you won't leave her alone all the time either. Use authority if must be, and let her know you are aware of her situation. It might be shocking and positively awkward, but possibly a good foundation for new, better communication. Let her know she won't be allowed to let herself crumble, as it will be tough to try and get back in the game wasted years later.
I find internet addiction is a very destructive catalyst that makes you accept your isolation, and provides a substitute, but not a solution, so limit her access, or controll it, let her go to some public place for access, where she at least has a chance to meet new people.

Don't let her wallow in her self pity, it won't get better by itself, organize her life for her in some manner, if she can't do it herself.
If your family can afford it, make her study something useful in a short time, like a foreign language, or some skill related subject, like driving or cooking, something that she can utilize straight away as part of her everyday life, and make her use that new skill.

Could be great if you as her sister could engage in some positive, skill/knowledge improving activity together with her that is new to both of you, but not competitive (I guess she isn't the competitive type), more collaborative.

That's about it from me.

[Smee]

So they moved you after all?  My uncle hasn't been told he's got to move by the council - and he lives alone, but I can see it coming since he lives in a two bedroom house and council houses are in short supply where he lives.  He had the opportunity to buy it under 'right to buy', but he said: why buy it when when I've got it for life at a low rent.  But it just goes to show, if you don't own the house and you're a tenant then the council can move you out if they want to.

Anyways, Smee, you're right to look for the positives in things you can't control rather than the negatives.

Well....im kinda willingly walking away.....rather than being forced into running up debt at £90 per month and facing eviction.

As far as your uncle goes TD, IF he is aged 61.5 as of april 2013, then he is safe from these reforms, for now