I'm a bonotheist, loud and proud.
This is my laserjacket. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My laserjacket is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master the ultraviolet spectrum. Without me, my laserjacket is useless. Without my laserjacket, I am useless. I must light my way true. I must sleep on stones better than the Edge who is trying to kill me because he is on fire. I must swing like Tarzan before he wields the ax like opera in my head. I will. Before God Part II I swear this creed: my laserjacket and myself are but one... but we're not the same. So be it, until there is no more silence that comes to this house, but peace.
Ramen.
Kudos to whoever correctly identifies this reference!